I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize