wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
