I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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