and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
