i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
