So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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