After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
