i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
