Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
