kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
