so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
