Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
