I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
