honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
