when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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