Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
