i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
