Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
