so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
