they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
