cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
