Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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