and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
