Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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