I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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