I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
