Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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