One girl and one boy is just not enough.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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