remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
