we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
