Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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