No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I deserve this hangover.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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