sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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