pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize