is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
