Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
