wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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