HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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