I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
