Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
