I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
