Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
