So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
