Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
