You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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