Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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