am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
organizing the empties. That sober.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
whose ass print is on the piano?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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