So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
