Life is so much better after having sex.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
