im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
