All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize