Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
