Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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