I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
