singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
