I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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