Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
