At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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