if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
