Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
