He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
