Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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