Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We got so high we made milksteak
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
