btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
